Who Knew George Carlin Was An Advertising Guru?

Claims have been made that consumers get exposed to thousands of advertisements through various different mediums each and every day.  I personally think it is only in the hundreds but have no data to back this up.

Either way consumers get bombarded with all kinds of marketing messages everyday.  To get noticed your message needs to be focused with a holy cow I need that now impact.  As mentioned in my Marketing Misconceptions Are Dangerous post you have to make it all about your targeted audience.

Consumers block out most of the daily marketing messages they hear because it’s the same hype over and over again, day in and day out.  We all know them…Free Estimates, Money Back Guarantee and the list goes on and on.

George Carlin was a brilliant but edgy successful comedian and until I came across his Advertising Lullaby and had no idea what a successful business man and advertising guru he really was.

Below you will Mr. Carlin’s Advertising Lullaby lyrics that highlight pretty much every gimmick and phase that you as a marketer should stay away from.

You can also jump over to YouTube and search George Carlin Advertising Lullaby to see George give you this lesson live. (BE WARNED THIS IS GEORGE CARLIN AT HIS BEST AND THE LANGUAGE AT THE END IS RATED “F”)

ADVERTISING LULLABY LYRICS (never use these in your advertisements).

Quality, value, style, service, selection, convenience, economy, savings, performance, experience, hospitality, low rates, friendly service, name brands, easy terms, affordable prices, money-back guarantee.

Free installation, free admission, free appraisal, free alterations, free delivery, free estimates, free home trial, and free parking.

No cash? No problem! No kidding! No fuss, No muss,
No risk, no obligation, no red tape, no down payment,
No entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary,
No one will call on you, no payments or interest till September.

Limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money,
Offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately,
Batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final,
Allow six weeks for delivery, some items not available,
Some assembly required, some restrictions may apply.

So come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation with our friendly, professional staff. Our experienced and knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a selection that’s just right for you and just right for your budget.

And say, don’t forget to pick up your free gift: a classic deluxe custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet pocket pencil sharpener. Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It’s our way of saying thank you.

And if you act now, we’ll include an extra added free complimentary bonus gift at no cost to you: a classic deluxe custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet combination key ring, magnifying glass, and garden hose, in a genuine imitation leather-style carrying case with authentic vinyl trim. Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It’s our way of saying thank you.

Actually, it’s our way of saying…the rest is not PG Rated and you will have to check out on your own.

Your marketing message must matter, be different and answer the consumers question; “What’s In It For Me”?

Tim Somers
Bizarre Promotions, Inc.